Don't be interesting...be interested.

Henry Cloud wrote a book called Trust. I’ll admit I haven’t read it yet, it’s on my list. But my understanding is that in the book, Cloud states that to build trust you start with understanding and empathizing with others.

I believe that’s true. But what is it about understanding others that builds trust? We know how to do it; active listening, genuine curiosity, open ended questions, etc. But why does it work?

Consider this; Do you have people in your life that, though you are not terribly close to them, you find yourself sharing everything with them? There are a couple of people I am thinking of. When I am with them, they ask questions that frankly, if it were anyone else, I would ignore them or make something up. Personal questions, deep questions, things I’m not likely to share except with my closest confidants.

Here is what I think. These people are so obviously and genuinely interested in what I have to say, I’ll share anything.

I wish I were one of those people. Maybe you’re not like me, but there is a truth in life that I cannot seem to hold on to. That is, to be a good friend and to make good friends, you do not have to be interesting, you have to be interested.

This reminds me of Wilson Lumber's second Core Value: treat others the way you want to be treated. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying we’re perfect at this, no one is. What we try to do is treat everyone with kindness, respect, and understanding. Sounds very similar to the point that Cloud makes.

I imagine a world where we treat each other this way, Wilson Lumber treats its customers this way, an we’re treated this way. I like that world. Let’s build it together.